Something there is that doesn't love a wall...

This line from a Robert Frost poem has been running through my thoughts lately – since I decided to build a wall around part of my property. My reasons for needing a wall were to give myself a little more privacy from people passing on the road, to create a place where Leo can play outside without my having to worry about coyotes and wild dogs, and to have a garden safe from the depredations of prairie dogs.

It’s going to be of latillas – thin aspens faded to a delicate gray – interspersed with columns of concrete blocks, stuccoed the same color as the house. I hired a man to build it for me; he drew up the plans, and outlined its dimensions with metal stakes and bright magenta string. As I sit here at my desk, I can visualize where it will be and how it will look.

The blocks, cement and rebar were delivered this morning. The pallet of cement is sitting in my garage where my truck usually resides, and the rebar and blocks are in the yard. And all of a sudden I’m wondering – do I really want a wall?

What am I walling out? Can I keep the world at bay by building a wall? I need an oasis of peace in my life, but is this the way to do it? I’m not sure. Maybe the wall will give me an illusion of peace, anyway. I notice the ways we are bombarded by other people’s energy all day, every day. I’ve stopped reading the newspaper, except for the Taos News, I don’t watch tv and I rarely listen to the radio. And yet, I’m not exempt from the constant battering of “information” about all the horrible things that are going on in the world. A wall can’t keep that out.

And what am I walling in? I’m alone in this house (except for Leo) most of the time, and I enjoy my solitude. I revel in the peace and quiet that allow me to think and create. But when does solitude become isolationism? Is this wall becoming an outward and visible sign of an inner withdrawing from the world? And is it selfish not to share oneself with the world?

I don’t know the answers, but I do know that I still want my wall. I can choose to leave the gates unlocked.